.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}


We Have the Right to Choose the Candidates Who Will Fuck Us up the Ass

Guest Editorial by George Norwood,
Michigan voter

I think it is highly un-democratic and an insult to the voters of Michigan that our Democratic primary did not count, and that the Party will not seat our delegates. After all, no state has been hit harder by job cuts than Michigan, and the blue collar voters of this state have been loyal Democrats for many decades.

Thus, it is only fair that we Michigan voters exercise our right to choose which candidate will fuck us up the ass.

Listen - for the past fifty years we've been taking the snake up the poop chute from Washington politicians. LBJ? Hammered us hard. Nixon? Plowed us like blond-headed prison arrivals. Reagan? Slapped us around and drilled us with his withered horse cock.

Some Michigan voters might want Barack Obama as President, because he would probably be gentle and put on some romantic music first, maybe whispering in our ears just before slipping his shaft up our asses. The problem with Obama is that he is young, and would likely want to fuck us up the ass 3-4 times week.

Others might want Hillary Clinton, who would be fucking Michigan voters up the ass with a blood-red strap-on dildo. Clinton would ride Michigan pretty rough, but she would probably fuck us up the ass really hard every other weekend, and she might give Michigan the occasional reacharound.

I think Michigan Republicans had better choices, since John McCain is too old to be fucking Michigan up the ass, and even with Viagra, he would be only be pointing his limp dick our way once a month. But I am glad that Mitt Romney is out, since those sexually repressed Mormons would be likely to be dragging Michigan out behind the garage and fucking us up the ass, like, every hour or so.

So, in the final analysis, as the state that has to get presidentially poked on a regular basis, I believe Michigan residents should have some choice as to which candidate gets to fuck us up the ass.

And maybe this time they could leave twenty bucks on the nightstand. It's not like we are whores, but if we could buy ourselves a little something, we might feel better about getting fucked up the ass so much.

Labels: , , ,

Its we who are deciding the candidates and not any other people.
yeah true a bit....we are the people....
The way you said, may be a bit offensive, but this is really true.
The candidates and not any other people, just like you and me...
May be a bit offensive, but this is really true. HCG Blue Drops, the Faster and Natural way to lose weight.
If the right candidates are selected then the whole country will not suffer for sure.
You have to work hard and you will definitely do good.
Very strong writing . Keep it up .
Many of my friends read your blog, and now i honestly can tell that you are a great man that can write the truth with no problems.
This is incredibly the best one so far I read.Thanks for sharing it.
Your title its a bit rough but i think that our votes decide the candidates. I know what you mean here but...
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?